Dan Azzi
Exited the rat race to travel and savor the moment, while enjoying total freedom.
16th September 2017.
Random Encounters
Actual Message sent September 14, 2017, from the US Consulate in Beirut to its citizens: Due to ongoing threats to locations such as the Casino Du Liban in Jounieh, Lebanon, the US Embassy in Beirut has barred any movement of US government staff to that Casino. As always, the U.S. Embassy will continue to evaluate the movements of its […]
16th September 2017.
Gentrification in Beirut
When you think of wars, to most people they seem so theoretical, so academic, so “high school history.” Like when you’re walking through the ruins in Rome and being told about Roman history and its vast empire. Like when you’re walking through a tour of Gettysburg and being shown where General Lee was applying his brilliant tactics […]
16th September 2017.
Nouveau Riche & Lebanese Culture
If you want to understand Lebanese culture, you can start by examining some of the idioms. Let’s look at the term “nouveau riche” which, in Lebanon, is a derogatory term, meaning someone who is recently wealthy, as opposed to inherited wealth, and therefore does not behave properly like people who are accustomed to wealth. The […]
16th September 2017.
The Ovarian Lottery or Lucky Sperm Club
So over 99.99999% of life is luck. Anything in this book that can be construed as advice is really addressing the 0.00001%. Warren Buffet coined the term “Ovarian Lottery” to describe the role of luck in our success and it struck a nerve with me, having been born, in a third world country myself. Other people have referred to similar […]
30th September 2018.
Lebanon’s rentier economy and Creative Destruction
(Originally published in An-Nahar September 2018) When Judgment Day for our country arrives, and it’s very close, the results will be cataclysmic and painful, but we should stand ready to exploit this and unleash Schumpeter’s Creative Destruction process. BEIRUT: Last week, a state of apprehension proliferated in the economic and banking […]
8th October 2018
Dissecting deposits: The case of Lebanon’s missing $70 Billion
(Originally published in An-Nahar October 2018) Most so-called local economic reports read more like (bad) poetry, rather than providing actionable intelligence. One such report on real estate, from a few years ago, said: [...]
19 October 2018
Happy Dependence Day: a letter to my grandfather
(Originally published in An-Nahar November 19, 2018) November 22, Any Year Dear Jiddo, You’ve been deceased for 30 years, but I’m hoping one day a time machine would deliver this urgent message. I pray it gets to you before you join the demonstration against the French mandate, 75 years ago. As we celebrate this day with the mandatory [...]
22th October 2018
Dollars — The Latest Lebanese Vegetable
(First published in An-Nahar October 22, 2018) “Remember, if you believe it, it’s not a lie.” George Costanza Most people don’t know that a tomato is actually a fruit not a vegetable. It took my attending a Botany course at AUB for me to learn this very useful tidbit of information, which comes in handy when I’m short cash and need to [...]
30th October 2018
Mabrouk. A new government is formed with 50% women.
(First published in An-Nahar October 30, 2018) A couple of years ago a major political party had a monumental change of leadership. Mind you, this wasn’t due to an expiration of his term limit, because of a clause in the party’s constitution. In typical Lebanese fashion, this was because of the previous leader dying or moving to bigger [...]
9th November 2018
That they may have life and have it less abundantly
(First published in An-Nahar Nov 9, 2018) Last week, a Halloween party by a group of American University of Beirut students was canceled. The party was titled “Queer Mixer / Speed Dating Night.” After some significant verbal and physical harassment, the students released a communiqué stating that the decision was because their “safety [...]
12th November 2018
Swearing and Proverbs as a Window to Lebanese Culture
(Originally published in An-Nahar November 12, 2018) I was out in a bar the other day. My friends were drinking heavily, unlike me, because last time I got drunk, I woke up the next day married. This affliction curses me with being alert and aware of other people’s actions, while they unwind and loosen up. So they were having massive [...]
25th November 2018
One Trump Tweet from Armageddon
[This article was originally published in An-Nahar November 25, 2018] BEIRUT: Last week we received a cable from President Donald J. Trump, congratulating Lebanon on its Independence. Local analysts poured over the 38 words, searching for some major policy shift or statement of support. The following is a dramatization of this [...]
3rd December 2018
Undiplomatic Diplomats
(Originally published in An-Nahar December 3, 2019) I had dinner the other day with a senior British ambassador to the GCC. We got to talking and I affectionately mentioned a young diplomat who became very popular after his farewell letter to the Lebanese people. And here’s where he surprised me. He was quite negative about his colleague [...]
10th December 2018
Then and Now
(Originally published in An-Nahar on December 10, 2018) During the Civil War entertainment options were limited. There was no ABC mall, no Bikfaya peach festival, no Marina, no Achrafieh 2020 carless roads, no organic market in Beirut Souks … no Beirut Souks, period. No Sky Bar or Music Hall or Rodge. As teenagers, Espace 2000 was [...]
30th December 2018
Nights in Heaven and Hell
[This article was first published in An-Nahar in December 2018] So the other day I died, which got me into a bit of a pickle, as I found myself standing in line at the Gates of Heaven. I never thought much about the afterlife, but, surprisingly, my image had turned out quite accurate. There was a long line, with blond, burly guys at the [...]
3rd February 2019
Exorbitant Privilege
[This article was originally published in An-Nahar on February 2, 2019] The United States buys a Japanese Toyota, German BMW, Korean Kia, or Chinese Dongfeng, made of steel, leather, glass, computer chips, engines, and significant workmanship and design. They pay using pieces of paper (water-proof cotton, to be precise); with “In God We [...]
24th February 2019
Moral Hazard and the Banking Sector
[This article was published in An-Nahar 24 February, 2019] When I worked on Wall Street a few years ago, I could sense that something was wrong in our compensation mechanism. We got huge bonuses if things went well that year, but the downside was always limited. Take a trader who committed firm capital, a bet, if you will, on a certain [...]
24th March 2019
Where did the $22 billion go?
[This article was originally published in An-Nahar on March 24, 2019 and created a media frenzy such as this report attacking me] Adventures in Forensic Accounting: Last Monday I received an excel spreadsheet from MJ, a bright young man, a couple of years out of college, whom I met last year at a controversial lecture at AUB (LINK HERE). [...]
21st April 2019
The Curse of Oil and Gas
[This article was first published in An-Nahar on April 21, 2019.] Imagine the Arabian deserts, centuries ago, before the first oil field was struck. People had to hike for hours in the scorching sun, foraging for food and water, with nothing to protect them from the elements, but a handmade piece of cloth covering their sunburnt head and [...]
29th May 2019
The Painting
[This article was first published in An-Nahar on May 29, 2019] It was a blotch that literally looked like someone had dipped a brush in red paint and splashed the empty canvas, then with orange, and finally some black — an explosion of random colors, aka modern art. I’m no expert, but the whole thing would take my five-year-old kid three [...]
15th November 2020
Till Death Do Us Part
[This article was first published in An-Nahar in April 2019. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities between actual wives and events is purely coincidental] We were young. We were poor. We fell in love. We got married. We had two beautiful children. We rose up the socioeconomic ladder. We went on phenomenal vacations. We saw the [...]
11th November 2020
Al Qard el Hassan ATM Machines
The idea for this article was never published. It was submitted to the top two English language news outlets in Lebanon and was politely turned down, with something to the effect, “Stick to Economics.” It was subsequently turned into a YouTube video titled “Hummos Economics Episode 1 on my YouTube channel, posted Thursday December 24, [...]
31st December 2019
Welcome to Lebanon Carlos-San
[This article was originally published in An-Nahar on December 31, 2019] Let’s say a certain hugely successful Lebanese automotive executive ran into legal troubles in a country which has an usually convoluted judicial system, which tends towards “guilty until proven innocent.” Staying back to fight and salvage his international [...]
14th October 2019
What is Riad Salameh thinking?
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Any similarities between actual people and events is purely coincidental. A version of this article was first published in Arabic in Akhbar newspaper October 14, 2019. ———————————————————————————————————— “If you want to understand a man, walk a mile in his shoes.” Riad Salameh sat in his plush [...]
22nd September 2019
The Dollar Crisis
[This article was originally published in An-Nahar September 22, 2019] It’s pretty clear that we’re now in an urgent race, like being on a treadmill, whose speed keeps accelerating, but has no off-switch. No matter how tough and fit you are, eventually you’ll have to stop running … unlike the treadmill, which keeps going. You can [...]
21st July 2019
The devaluation of the Lebanese Dollar
[This article was first published in An-Nahar in July 2019] I know what you’re thinking — my editor missed a typo and the title should be “Devaluation of the Lebanese Lira.” It’s pretty clear, with the balance of payment (BoP) deficit (binging on imports, i.e. US dollars leaking outside the country month after month); that we’re heading [...]
14th July 2019
Where’s my damn money?
[First published in An-Nahar and Yerepouni News on July 14, 2019] BEIRUT: “… We have a new product for deposits with a minimum of $20 million, paying a 14% annual rate … but now we’re opening this great offer for the general population at much smaller amounts, but only for dollars coming from outside Lebanon …. We put your money with the [...]
21st June 2019
Ode to Hamra Street
[This article was first published in An-Nahar on June 21, 2019] Today’s urban hike is from Achrafieh to #Hamra Street, four kilometers away. Ten minutes in, I reach the Green Line, splitting Beirut into two warring zones in the civil war. During the war, it felt like it was much further away. East Beirut versus West [...]
16th June 2019
An Explosive Time at a Beirut Nightclub
(Originally published in An-Nahar June 16, 2019, 14 months before the Port Explosion) There’s no question that our nightlife is one of the best in the world, and, having been to 80 countries, I can authoritatively make that claim. Obviously, you usually go to these joints at night, where the darkness and lighting add to the trendy design [...]
2nd June 2019
A tale of two Lebanons
(This article was originally published in An-Nahar on June 2, 2019) I heard that one of my favorite restaurants is closing. I love that place, not because you can glimpse the who’s who in the country, but the food and service are great, and the charming manager reminds me of a bygone era. I dress like I don’t belong there, so one waiter, [...]